The Inventory

Whether we want to admit it or not, every newly single divorced woman looks to the past to see if the new special someone is hiding there. Donna Hanover, Rudy Giuliani's ex-wife even wrote a book about it. Donna was lucky. Publicity over her divorce caused her old boyfriend to give her a call. From what I know, they are still living happily ever after.
In my fifty-two years, there were twelve special somethings in my life. I use that term loosely, because a two week relationship in eighth grade may not really count as something special. The purpose of this exercise though is to make one feel better about one's self so at this point, if I brushed up against someone on a crowded street I'd be tempted to count it.Some I should add were real relationships - boyfriend/girlfriend while others could be better described as near misses. I was dating someone or he was but the attraction was certainly felt.
First of course, I had to discount my soon to be former husband. One down, eleven to go. Certain relationships also seemed immediately out to me - the transition boyfriend in college, my friend in eighth grade, the fling I had during graduate school. Then I had to deduct the now happily married - four that I knew of right off the bat because we had remained friends. Ah, the list was narrowing.
Two of the remaining four struck me as the most appealing of the remaining prospects. Both were near misses -one from high school and the other from college. I knew through mutual friends that the college prospect had asked about me over the years even as he had married and had children. Maybe he was unattached at this point? Ah, it was not to be - a google search and a few quick emails determined that he was enjoying family life in the country's heartland.
The high school near miss came front and center. He had a wonderful sense of humor and was an all around nice guy. I learned in short order that he had three children almost grown and had been divorced for nine years. Oh, this was too good to be true. And of course it was. We friended each other on Facebook and I discovered he was newly remarried to a stunning thirty-five year old woman. So much for my trip down memory lane.

All and all I'm not discouraged that lightening didn't strike a second time during this foray into my past. I take it as a sign that I am meant to move forward and not look back. Here's to lucky number thirteen where ever he may be!