"Is the Teacher in the Building?"

Last year I attended the funeral of a woman from my church. She was relatively young, in her mid sixties,and had fought a three year battle with liver cancer.  As part of her eulogy, our minister described the unique relationship he had with this member of the congregation. We tend to think as adults we are grown and the learning process ends. Through his words he described how he, as a middle aged man of 56, had been enriched by the lessons learned from this woman despite their different personality styles. He quoted Buddha saying "When the pupil is ready, the teacher will come."

In the sadness of any loss there is always is a period of reflection of why. This is a natural part of the grieving process and certainly one I undertook for a long time when my marriage unraveled. Yet as I look back on any setback in my life I know that given time you began to understand that these course corrections bring you to a better place and a more developed you.

Despite the outcome,Gary and I had a decent run together. We were great friends, intellectual equals, and could make each other laugh. Our Achilles heel was our ability or should I say inability to manage money together as a couple. We were never on the same page and my eagerness to please and make everyone in the family happy led me to say yes when I should have said no. Over time even the best marriage can not survive the erosion of the feelings of security I needed to be happy.

Last week, a late birthday present arrived in my life in the forms of a new friendship. There was an immediate connection on core values and since we have yet to meet in person I am hopeful that this is not just sexual attraction taking over.On the surface we appear to be very different people. He is the most active outdoors man I've ever met and you know me, I'm active but hardly the outdoors woman. We seem to be pupil and teacher to one another back and forth in a synchronized manner that I've never experienced with a member of the opposite sex. I find myself saying a prayer each day that this will grow and develop. I am cautiously optimistic. Perhaps the teacher has arrived and the pupil is finally ready. Stay tuned.  Only time will tell.