What's In A Name - Or Title?

On May 13th, by the stroke of a pen I lost several titles: wife, stepmother, daughter-in law, sister-in law (to some), aunt (to some also). I somehow find this ironic that this happened on a Friday, the 13th but then the marriage began three years to the day  my grandmother passed away. I am not typically superstitious although things have turned around a little since I got rid of that license plate with the 666 on it.

 In some ways receiving divorce papers reminds me of those deaths where the final cause of death awaits toxicology reports. You know the patient is dead and nothing will change that but that final report closes the case so that everyone can move on. The night I went to the mailbox and got the papers my niece was here to store her things until the next college year. There was no dramatic music in the background and no tears but simply a quiet glance at the documents and then on to the next task.

The thing about being married for such a long time is that it becomes a way of life. I have been in significant relationships since the age of twenty - well over half my entire life. And while I don't need a significant other in my life to make me feel whole there is this recurring feeling of  having forgotten something that strikes me from time to time.  I have grieved the loss of the specific person and now I am grieving the loss of the role.

There is a family that remains where I once was a daughter-in law and a sister in law. My marriage may be over but I still care for them. In the best divorces there is respect and understanding that bonds though not legally tied still exist in our hearts. But as we all know things are never quite the same.

So with cautious optimism I look forward to a possible new title that I've not had in many years - girlfriend.The word itself sounds young and exciting.  I have always been a Pollyanna at heart and truly think the best is yet to be. This process has made me grow in ways I never thought possible and through the love and support of my family and friends I am becoming stronger than ever before. And so begins a new chapter.....